The New Pokemon Movie

This summer,

                There’s a new Pokémon movie coming to theaters.  And this time, there’s a new Pokémon holy shit.  He comes from space and he’s white and has big ol’ arms and legs but he has a pair of eyes and he has blue glowing swirlies all around him.  I cannot stress enough that this is a super-cool design in my head, I promise.

                And his ability is pointing his arm at people and saying, “Your crimes cannot be forgiven” in a cool robotic voice and then blasting them.  Like, he goes up to Giovanni and just annihilates him and Ash and his friends are like yo what the fuck.

                It’s Pokémon: The Cautionary Tale of Unchecked Vigilantism and Why One Person’s Particular Idea of Justice Might be Inherently Flawed: The Movie!

                And then he tries to kill Ash because I guess this Legendary Pokemon isn’t “on board” with the whole concept of Pokémon battles and he think’s it’s fucked up so he just tries to explode Ash on the spot.

                And then Pikachu looks at the camera and says aaaaaaaare you shitting me we already did this story like twenty fucking years ago